Who am I? What defines me? What am I supposed to be? Through the years, I’ve found a plethora of ways to describe myself.
I’m your typical mixed bred American. A blend of Sicilian, Scottish, Welsh, Cherokee, and probably many other things. I’m a fantasy writer, a painter, and a gamer. I’ve played Dungeons and Dragons and Legend of Zelda (yes, all of them), and I own a stuffed Pikachu that travels with me across the states.
My father is a Sicilian cowboy and former marine. My mother is a talented, independent woman with a wealth of courage that once carried her alone to a foreign country. I look into my family’s past and I see more cowboys, a medicine woman, musicians, a vice president… all of them fall into a pattern of leaders and free thinkers who pave their own path.
Then I look at who I am today. I live in a city I enjoy, but I feel most at home alone on a mountain where the wind speaks without uttering a word. I feel the presence of God in silence and nature, yet I was raised Christian in a brick and mortar church. Sometimes I feel like my spirit is torn between religion and something simpler, and yet much bigger, that’s called to me for as long as I can remember. It used to seem like a contradiction, until I realized who I am fits between it all.
I don’t have to choose one way to define myself. I fill in the pages of a legacy that started countless centuries before me, and one day I will pass the book along to another. I will die, but the story will continue with a little of myself inside of another person, just as I carry pieces of the ones who came before me.
I am not one person, but a piece of a whole, like a thread within a tapestry. Who I am is the product of a myriad of lives that led to me, and I am continuously molded by my own thoughts, views, and decisions. I carry the baton of my ancestors combined into one person, and when I look at my reflection, I see the pieces of those who came before me.
Those are the pieces that form Elli. Not just one lineage, or one parent, or one generation. I am all of it and then some… for I am me as well. An individual interconnected as I add to the legacy.
My legacy, until one day I pass it on to someone else.